Here again part 9

[Train]

Through every sentence of that ^^^, I read fear. If I'm sensing it, your H is definitely sensing it. And he's eating it up.

You have every reason to be fearful, but you also have every reason to put that fear behind you and stand with your back straight, knowing you will be okay. You are smart, you are strong and you are capable.

Do not be afraid that you standing up for yourself will push H further away. THAT is your mind playing tricks on you. Ask ANY man - in fact, go ahead: go around and ask any man on these boards - and I bet they'd tell you that there's nothing more attractive than a self-confident, self-assured woman. You see, T, that's what makes the OW so attractive to waywards. They act the complete opposite of how LBSs do.

Take a look at one of cadence's suggestions for what to tell H:

"Look, H. You made a decision to leave, and I'm starting to feel a little frustrated that you also seem to want to keep participating in family events that you'd find fun. I don't want anger or acrimony between us, but the togetherness you're asking for is becoming too much for me. I think it would be best if you didn't go with us."

Now, take a look at what you're pondering saying:

H, you staying here isn't working out. It's confusing the boys and they are left with uncertainty of which nights you will be coming by and which ones you won't so I think it's best for everyone if that stops.

I know you said you wouldn't say that exactly, but can you see the difference(s) in those two ^^^ prospective responses? This isn't a rhetorical question. Look them over and get back with me on whether you see any differences and what they are.