I started somewhat centred on my WW but as time goes on and the situation evolves I'm getting more and more focuses on me and my boys just enjoying being with them and getting out.
Glad to see you back. This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is what I think some of the posters wanted you to get.
You may face times where you are tempted to rescue your WW, when her fantasy begins to crumble. Sometimes, the WW has to see what she has lost, in order for the reality to hit her that she has caused this mess and she has to live with the results.
I realize you want to remain as a "safe place" for her, and I will not try to pressure you to change your mind. Just be aware that she will probably temp check you to see how emotionally attached you really are. We have seen some crazy scenes played out from WW's who were temp checking their BH's. The first time she and OM have a fight, she'll turn to you for comfort. How will you handle it? B/c they will make up and she'll take him back.
Your backslide only proves you are human, with all the emotions that pop up in these type of situations. It is terrible that she has the OM living in the family home and shoving it in your face. This same stitch happened with one of my adult children, and the emotional toll is about more than a person can handle. So, I admire those betrayed spouses who are able to move forward and build another life for themselves.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
