They are very close mutual friends who are also hurt by his actions they are asking me if they can speak to him and I have said ultimately that is up to them about their R with him. I don't want to hear about it or discuss it and they respect that. The kids caught me crying last night but my friends daughter died in the week so I said that was why, normally they would want to stay at my friends on a Friday night but they both insisted on coming home with me.
This morning I just feel sad for them. I know what he is doing and I know why and that person doing those things is not my H and that is how I have to separate it. You're right Mark only down for them and only up for us my heart is just so heavy.
I'm sitting in the garden and there is so much that needs doing but it's too heavy for me plus I've got loads of washing and housework to do but I just want to get out with the kids and have some fun with them. Trouble is one juts wants to go to her friends and S is in his room playing FIFA and doesn't want to go anywhere. Might see if I can a couple of friends here for them to play with and then I can get on and they can enjoy themselves. Two birds, one stone and all that.
I have to stay on FB for my family as they are so far away and that's how we keep each other updated on the day to day stuff. I have come of all other social media and I changed the settings on his phone so I can't see when he's online and I made him change his Icloud password so I couldn't track him and torture myself. I set his bank account up so I can't see what and where he is spending money and I just hope that he doesn't use the joint account again, I need to get that card off him.
The mornings are always worse it's like you wake up and remember and it hits you for the first time again.
Really trying to keep my spirits up
Me 46 H 39 M 11 T 14 S 10 DO 8 ILYBNILWY 11.06.17 Separate rooms 11.06.17 ILW OW A ongoing 12.06.17 Kicked H out 23.6.17 H came home 20.8.17
