So yesterday evening the W called me so we could talk about some boundaries with the house now that she moved all her stuff out. I tried to say it as nicely as possible and said shes always welcomed here as its still her home too but for now you aren't living here so id really appreciate it if you would respect my privacy and simply send a text or call before coming over for now. i think at first she was kinda surprised and said "im not going to take your stuff or anything" I said I know you're not and I trust you wont but id really appreciate if you please just call. she agreed she would.
After that I felt compelled to bring up something that I realized when we were exchanging emails earlier in the week when she was very hesitant to meet in person. So I probably made a mistake but i felt I needed to say it. I said I know you feel uncomfortable around me and dont trust me. i can see why cause I unknowingly lost track of meeting your most important need in the marriage and now that Im figuring it out its prob frustrating you even more wondering why it took this for me to understand it. And im sure you're not trusting my intentions as sincere. And because of this you built a wall to protect yourself from me. So Im going to cont to work on my weaknesses so that you can eventually feel comfortable being yourself around me again. I know I need to put your feelings in front of mine and since I know how uncomfortable some of our talks have been for you Im not going to put that pressure on you anymore. This is on your time so when you feel comfortable talking about things it'll be your choice.
She started crying when I said that and she said this is just so hard to go through, i tried to validate her feelings and said I understand how hard this is for you and im sorry youre feeling this way. I said I know that this isnt how she wanted our marriage to be. She cried for a few mins and I wanted so badly to just come through the phone and hug her.
After her crying its like she snaps herself back into place of moving forward and said I hope we dont fight about money cause last time I asked you about the house you acted like you didnt want to talk about it (the house is only in my name and I bought it before we were married so she legally cant get anything for it) and I said I understand you feeling that way and If/When that time come we can talk about it then.
We talked for a while after that just small talk and some laughs from both of us here and there. Over all it really seemed like a talk we wouldve have before she left. It seemed like she didnt really want to get off the phone but I felt I needed to end it cause it was over 45 mins of talking. So I told her how nice it was talkin to her and hopefully we can have more talks like that. she acknowledged it was nice too. (yet a mistake I know) i said it would be nice to jsut grab a drink sometime and talk, she didnt agree but didnt shoot it down either. Over all it was a really nice talk, but who knows what she thinks of it. And now today because of that I want so badly to ask her to hang out but I know thats the worst thing I can do at this point. I'll just give her more space and let the talk simmer in her mind for a while, if shes even thinking about the talk.
At the end of the talk I just told her Im gonna keep doing my life for now and just have faith. She said I know and I left it at hope you keep in touch and then said bye.
