Oh yeah, life goes on...

[Sotto]

Well, it has been a little while, so time for an update I guess. I find myself drifting away from the forum a little. I do still read along from time to time, but at one time, the forum was part of my daily life, and now less so. Not in a bad way, but life has just been really busy.

My work project has reached a milestone day today - hurrah!! The next couple of weeks, we are building up to a big launch and then (hopefully) things we be a bit more settled. I feel I have been working at full tilt since March, so some normality will be nice. Our project affects everyone in the company, and people are rather unsettled and trying to adapt to the change. Our team are trying to reassure, whilst dealing with a greater pile of uncertainty ourselves. Still, we've retained our sense of humour and I'm looking forward to champagne.

I had to take a little break from the bookstore, due to my schedule, but I'll get back there soon. Still dancing and singing though, and going out with my divorce group chums tonight. As for attractive dancing guy in my class - I feel disappointed and relieved with how that turned out. He seemed pretty interested and then I didn't manage to go for a couple of weeks, after which he seems to have struck up an (innappropriately close) friendship with a very unhappily married woman in our class. I always felt he was probably unsuitable, and so it was probably a lucky break - because I felt attracted, but at the same time knew there were some significant red flags.

I guess I had to go through the disappointment to get to that. Still, I didn't embarrass myself greatly and it never progressed beyond a flirtatious friendship. I did feel 'triggered' though - ie: by liking him and him switching attention to someone else. Some painful feelings did surface - but only for a day or so. I soon bounced back, which is good. I think if you have to start DBing someone before you even go out with them - it's a bad sign!!!

It did lead me to question - am I just attracted to unsuitable, uninterested, unavailable men? There are other guys, who I sense would be interested if I chose to open that door, but I don't feel attracted...hmm. It may just still be early days post divorce. So, I'm focusing on getting grounded again - back to practicing gratitude, enjoying friends, family, dancing, singing - and generally trying to live an authentic life.

Still working on the self-development and I think it is always good to have these activities going on. There is always much to learn. I find that I get the theory, but faced with difficult situations my default is 'nice girl.' Boundaries are still a work in progress, though I feel I am more aware of these, and have improved.

On the property front, I'm still waiting to complete on my second place. It has been so slow! But I hope to be in during July and I'll enjoy cosying it up and having a nice pied a terre close to work.

As for XH (nearly forgot to mention him - oops!) I hear nothing of him at all, which suits me well. However, SS and I are in regular touch. We've just arranged a get together - SS and his Mum, me and some family friends from when we were M. It's funny, but XH's XW has filled the 'slot' he used to be in for these get togethers. Interesting how things turn out - eh?

Anyway - hugs and best wishes to you all from '3 years on' and 'saved myself' me. Xxx