I have to say, although I was shocked, scared, all of the above, the first thing I did even though I was in some sort of fog was figure out how to do it on my own. He planned on walking right out the door the night he dropped the bomb. I had no clue it was coming and he was just going to go to his sisters. I went to my dad's for 2 months instead. I worked 2 nights per diem night shifts, I immediately went back to full time for more money and benefits since I was under his. He was to take her on the nights I worked. I signed her up for daycare 2 days a week so I could sleep when I came from work in the morning. I just planned my life without having to depend on him. I did depend on him to take his time with her, which was the nights I worked, and he did. But I surely was going to hire a nanny and send him half the bill if he didn't want her.
This is what you can control NOT him.
Had he come back, it put me in a better more powerful position. He would have known he was a want, not a need.
FWIW, I am happy. I am single, although I have dated, but our daughter is 9, she is a wonderful happy child, an excellent student, well-adjusted. I have a great balance with a social life, my dear friends, my family, and activities. Sure, companionship would be nice, but the best is, I don't need a "baby daddy" I don't need someone elses money, or house or anything. Everyone I share my life with is on a "want basis"
You are a strong smart woman. Plan your life. If he fits into it and wants to do the work to become a part of it again in a healthy way, GREAT. But if not, you will be ok. You will even be HAPPY
