Thank you for taking the time to talk me down from the ledge You're right I don't want to be married to THIS man, I want to be married to the man I know he CAN be. But he has to take his journey. I'm sorry your H was so terrible. My H was someone I could count on WHEN things were good. he was great to me when our older boys were born. He had been great to me after we R this last time. Like I said it was just up until this year around February when things changed. I'm working on letting go of what WAS because it isn't what IS.
But I would be lying if I said I didn't want to FIX this. I know I have said so many times I have to feel like I'm doing something. Even though doing nothing is something I feel like I'm just pushing him away further by doing nothing. Trying to tell myself that isn't true. Me distancing has moved him further away. He hasn't asked about my day or anything related to me.
I am going out tonight. H told me he was working late then sent me a text he wasn't working late and was coming by to see the boys. So one of the physicians I work with is staying at her condo and she wanted the kids and I to come over, she hasn't seen the baby yet and recently had a baby as well. But I told her lets leave the kids and meet for a drink! So I'll get dressed up again and be on my way. Ugh I have so much homework this is the last thing I should be doing but oh well.
Does H not even care that I get dressed up and go out? Does nothing I do even get to him? Is it really true that he just doesn't love me or care about me like a switch. I'm not sure my heart is ready to accept all of that. I remember last time I started doing this he started showing interest but now he could careless.
You're right I don't want to be married to THIS man, I want to be married to the man I know he CAN be. But he has to take his journey. I'm sorry your H was so terrible. My H was someone I could count on WHEN things were good. he was great to me when our older boys were born. He had been great to me after we R this last time. Like I said it was just up until this year around February when things changed. I'm working on letting go of what WAS because it isn't what IS. 