It's been a pretty awful three years, it culminated with S6 (almost 7) breaking down to me at bed time last night. Here are some of the things he said to me...
"Daddy, why did you always fight with mommy and divorce her?" "What did you fight with her about?"" "Mommy said that she was just your friend." "If you loved mommy like you say you do, why did you divorce her?" "Did you even want a son?"
Over the last few weeks, he's done the following in therapy.
-taken his mom's engagement ring off her hand, pushed a couch out from the wall, climbed behind it and cried
-made a scene in the therapist's sandtray that had his mom and I getting married and her STBH (yes, same guy from the original affair) watching on the sideline
-in school, drew a picture of his family and left out STBSD (soon to be step dad?)
Their mom responded by saying the paper was too small and bc STBH is tall, he coudn't fit him on the page....
She also FaceTimed them last night while in the middle of a self-tanning treatment...
S6 thinks that I left his mom. He thinks I left her because I spent my entire marriage yelling at her and fighting her. Why on earth does she need to fill his head with any of this, let alone falsehoods.
I told him that I spent twelve years loving his mother very much and that I tried to make her happy every day bc she was (until he was born) the most important thing in my life. He replied, "I guess you couldn't make her happy then?"
What a range of feelings today...none good
sorry for the rant, this has been a very hard 24 hours
As of December 2023 Me: 45 XW: 43 S13 S10 ILYBINILWY: 11/14/2014 OM: 11/14/2014 D process: 12/14/2014 D final: 04/2015
