Specifically you comment about "giving space versus building connection" is so similar to my situation. We have been doing the same with my W. But recent events are derailing me due to being on the brink of separation.
Wish you all the best. Stay the course. Decrease the number of books is wise. I did the same, even stopped looking at some all together not to get confused.
Me: 43, W: 43 M: 16, T: 18 D - 7, D - 7 ILUB: 26 August 2014 Still living together
