25yearsMLC - 10 yrs Later I File D (pt 5)

[25yearsmlc]

Assume they are going to believe Hs lies, but even if they don't, they're still going to pick H over you if they have to choose.. I'm still very close to my inlaws, they are my biggest supporters, but I've backed away because I don't want to make things weirder...

I know what you ^^^mean.

But this isn't about you, your H or your inlaws, this is about your D.. And they can't help if they don't know.

I know this too^^^ and just have to stfu and deal with my ego and fears.


It's pretty common for well of g-parents to help with college.

Btw, if I'm not getting to nosey, why can't she take out a loan? When you start getting support you could help her pay it off.

SO FAR she cannot get a loan that would cover her pricey school. She has a scholarship for 1/4 of it, but beyond that must be based on need. I only have h's 2015 tax returns and she's his dependent (or was then) and she won't qualify for loans

I am not yet employed, so co-signing for the loans I applied for were denied without provable income. (If I were actually getting the support ordered, I could co-sign and help pay it off).

I think h will offer "me" money intended to pay her college off and count it as 2 birds with one stone. (Our older kids went to private universities too, which I would not recommend everyone do, but which was affordable and IS, if h were doing right by her.

He's earning 10 times her tuition (or he was before he 'retired", which no one believes).

I'm trying to get past the urge to defend myself, and the urge to blast him for being such a jerk to our kids.

I cannot imagine what he's told them.

I'm getting tidbits of money, and what h sends is usually less than 1/4 of the temporary support he was told to pay, with no discernible rhyme or reason to the amount, and zero communication about when or what is being sent.

RE the court order itself -- IF it were complied with, it would be enough for me to help her.

OR co-sign. I put myself thru school, but I had notice. H dumped this on d19 after Mother's Day (the letter was dated early in April). In his letter, there were Lots of weird self serving comments, bragging about paying for her health insurance, and veteran's benefits our kids get.

Like it cost him or was heroic. He even told her that "being on her own and independent earlier in life will be good for her..." Hard to accept but I think he believes the stuff he says. I mean, I guess. It's deeply troubling.

Can I say this^^^ to my inlaws? Probably not but I sure hate how much they do not know.

Anyhow,

back to the letter, I'm pondering. Thanks for the feedback.