I'm just waiting for the day where I can wake up and think F U for putting us through this again. I'm trying to get to that stage instead of the cry fest.
My dad said people are at their best when things are at their worst.. H is showing me he isn't that person. He said no matter how much of a pain in the ass H thinks I can be that I need to go to sleep every night knowing I don't deserve this. That's what I'm struggling with. Is this entirely my fault? I guess that's why I wanted so badly to find out concrete OW evidence ... almost like a reason I guess? But I have to remember he hid it very well last time and it took a few months for me to have evidence because everything was happening at work. Which is probably exactly what is happening now.
Anyway, I'm scared. Will I be truly happy again. I've had to stop looking at my Facebook memories that. One up every day because it's all things with H and the kids and vacations etc that we were doing when we were all so happy.
So H text 'im going to help move again tonight then I will come spend the night' I didn't reply yet ... yes I asked him to stay the night and help but part of me wants to tell him he doesn't need to stay anymore .. any thoughts on this? He doesn't help at all at night. He comes eats dinner works out and sits on the couch and has limited interaction with anyone. He snaps at the boys very easily. I feel like it's more stressful for me for him to be here because I'm so concerned about putting on my happy face and being as if.
