25yearsMLC - 10 yrs Later I File D (pt 5)

[25yearsmlc]

so last post I wrote was about how to get inlaws to help with d19's college since h has said he won't pay tuition and it's due in 9 weeks. H's income makes it impossible for her to get need based aid, even though she has good grades.

He blames me for this (to d19) b/c of the spousal support HE WON'T PAY and has never paid.

Since I know he's bad mouthed me way more and for way longer than I ever realized, I shy away from reaching out. H has outright lied numerous times to many people. I'm positive he has lied to people differently and forgotten who he told what to, so that the lies are exposed. Moron.

I guess the inlaws could hurt me or reject me or whatever, if I ask them to help d19. I admit I feel replaced. ugh And maybe they'll assume I'm doing this for ME, which is not true.

And if d19 asks them and they say no, I'll be mortified for her and worried. That would really stink.

D19 is so far, the most traumatized kid in the situation. The others are older and have recall of a dad sometimes present. Not d19.

d19 basically "lost her dad" at age 8, b/c I think he only lived with us all full time, maybe 1-2 years from that time till she graduated from high school.

She has discussed this lack of time at home, with h and they don't see eye to eye.

H is angry at the older kids, b/c they won't validate his OW and his choices though s31 thinks we should divorce.

That makes me sad but I get it.


I cannot imagine what the in-laws believe. I know that MY family sees h as dead to them but it's all based on what they observed personally like his utter absence till after I was out of the hospital and his weirdo behavior

(OW, much??)

Prior thread has the outlines of a letter I MIGHT send them.