Cali, was looking through your post from a couple of months ago:
Quote:
I then told her I could drive to see her instead, but she told me again she just didn’t know if it would be good because she said she needed time. I ended up texting her later that day that I was respecting her decision to take time and I wouldn’t ask her to come and I wouldn't ask to come up there and I wouldn’t bring anything up unless she did. She simply texted back a thank you.
The last time you did this you promised her you wouldn't ask her to come, and that you wouldn't come there. So, what has changed that makes you think that breaking your promise is the healthy thing to do? Don't answer, just think about it. I'm sure you've heard that snippet that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.
You tend to get very, very defensive like C-nut said. All we're doing is trying to help, we give you the tools. It's up to you whether to pick them up and use them or not. But I'll warn you that it's hard to build anything without tools.
If you kept reading further you would also see that a little later after that she invited me to come see her for the weekend all on her own and it was after I said those things to her. I know my wife well and there are some things that she needs to see from me. One major thing is she needs to see that I put her first. Of course, most of you think that me going there is not about her being first, but me. That being said, how I feel about it is not that way. I really don't want to go see her and would much rather stay home and not spend the money I don't have to do this. It's the much harder thing for me to do between the two. I would rather just let things be the way they are, stay home and enjoy family and friends and then next week fly to Hawaii for a couple weeks for work. Instead I just got home and I am going right out back again to see her, then as soon as I get back home I will be turning around and flying back out again. So as I tried to explain on here, this is exactly the opposite of what I would do and want to do. My wife definitely understands this about me because my down time is when I'm home and not on the road. It was one of her complaints about me traveling and what not, so doing this will surprise her and not in the way you all think it will. I'm not saying at all the she is going to be crazy excited to see me, but it will at least show her the I put her first before my wants.
P.S. Sorry about this double post, but I somehow hit the tab and enter button on accident earlier.
