Here again part 9

[sandi2]

I just want someone to tell me what to do to give me a fighting chance.

I jut want someone to tell me what to do how to interact and how to let go.

I jut want someone to tell me what to do how to interact and how to let go.

You continue saying how you want to be told what to do. You have been told! You may not have been told what you wanted to hear, or maybe you didn't see immediate results........but you have been told.

I wish I could stop these thoughts but I just keep feeling like it's me or what should I have done differently... like I failed. I failed our boys. What reason do I have for this being over besides he just isn't happy.

Words from a former WW may not be welcomed, but I going to say it anyway. Stop this victim mentality! Stop being the poor, pathetic woman who has been left with three kids. You've got to find some spunk and pick your lower lip off the dang floor. If you continue repeating this same old stuff about yourself......then you'll start believing it......and then fulfill the role. If it would work, I'd give you a little Cher smack and tell you to "snap out of it". However, I don't think you will. In spite of everything people have said, you are determined to stay in this pity party.

I get the impression you have stopped listening. Yes, you read the posts, but I think you are at the point of subconsciously rejecting advice. You are so consumed by what your H is doing, that you are shutting down and blocking your own ability to let go of the man who has caused this damage, not once but twice, ...........and TO, it is a choice to let go. That's how you do it. Nothing is stopping you, but yourself.

Maybe you should read Txhubby's new thread. Now I could tell people all day long to do what he did, and they wouldn't listen b/c I am a former WW. However, they sit up and take notice when a LBS comes forward saying his M was saved b/c he let go. It was his decision. That's where it starts.

We tell people all the time to do the action and the feelings will catch up. That's what I had to do in my case, so I know a little bit about the struggle. You were given some information about how to stop certain thought patterns, so please look back at that post and follow through with google.

I know you have a lot on your plate. It is becoming too much, b/c of your state of mind. I find it hard to believe this gal we see today......is the real you. Please stop pouring all your thoughts and energy into getting him back, and taking the blame for him..... and start saving yourself. You don't know how to let go?? Seriously, you don't know, or you just don't want to let go? What would tell your best friend if she was in the same boat? It has to start with you making the decision that you've had enough of living this cr@ppy life and you aren't going to do it anymore. Instead of making everything about him, and what step to make next, and how to get him back and save the M..............just stop all of it. Start living like you want to live, and let the chips fall however they fall.

Find a good IC, MD, or whatever it takes to help get you out of this mental ditch you continue to digg. I don't mean in order to save the M. I mean in order to save you. It's concerning to see what this is doing to you.