And I noticed that my W contacted OM 4 times. On May 17th W got a approved for a company trip to D.C. for May 22nd. That evening she sent OM one text(probably letting him know that she will be in the area). OM just happens to live in VA, which would be a few hours away. W found out on the May 21st, which hotel she would be staying in. Also one text goes out to OM that day(probably informing him of her exact location). W then sends a text out to OM on May 22nd right before heading to the airport. Then W makes a 2 minute call to OM after checking into hotel. Other than telling me that she has arrived. S13 and myself didn't hear from her until about 6:40am in the morning of May 23rd.
Have you talked to a L about this or are you just assuming you need this info for "legal purposes"? Because if you're in a no-fault state then it doesn't matter. Regardless, by going through her phone records minute-by-minute you're just torturing yourself. Let it go and start the journey to building a better you.
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Now I'm trying to figure out, if I should let this go or confront W.
I wouldn't confront her specifically about your snooping as that'll just look like "more of the same" behavior to her. And besides, she's clearly stated she's on a path to D so her likely response would be "we're getting a D, I can do what I want now." If you wanted to confront her about the A in general, and say something like "I know you're continuing the A and I really do not want you under my roof while you're engaging in that behavior, if you want to live a separate life then go and live it" then I don't think that would be out of line. Legally you can't really force her out but you can certainly make it clear you don't want her there.
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The main thing I want to know is why?
Brother, that's one for the ages. We ALL want to know that. I was married 20 years and 19.5 of them were wonderful. 6 months before BD my W told me through tears that I couldn't let anything happen to myself, because she simply couldn't survive without me. 6 months later I got BD'd. It's been over 5 years since BD and I still don't know why. And I'm sure I never will, because she probably doesn't know either. And your W probably can't say why she's doing what she's doing.