H is going to another concert. Our ticket broker text me on accident instead of H saying get back to you with a price on that concert. I said ? He said oh sorry meant to send that to your H.
Also he rented a storage unit yesterday.
He and I had limited interaction. He told me he would be st the house by 6. He showed up at 9. I didn't say anything just let him know i had made him a plate for dinner on the stove. He asked me how the kids were. I just said I didn't get home from the office til 6 but that my dad said they were good.
He stayed on the couch and was in the bathroom a lot. I think that's when he's texting OW. He also worked out for awhile and took some more things. Again I didn't say a word. I watched a movie in my room with the kids. I sent the boys out to the living room to say goodnight to H. He didn't say goodnight to me and I didn't go out there to say anything to him.
I spent all night last night reading through all my old threads.
It is eerily similar to now but also different is that makes sense. His lying. His saying it will work out all while planning behind my back is the same. BUT last time he wouldn't be around me or have anything to do with me. This time he seems more comfortable to be around and do things as a family. This makes Me more concerned. Like he's not as angry or enthralled with an OW as he was last time.
Everyone says there's no way he will come back twice. That I'm crazy to even think that he would even consider it.
He's already done this and knows how it ends and is willing to do it again. Therefore it must be what he really wants. That he just came back last time because he got dumped by OW and was lonely. All this stuff is so hard to hear and I know they don't say it to hurt me but to help get me angry to say F you and move on.
I just want someone to tell me what to do to give me a fighting chance. Yes I know no R talks. But am I crazy for wanting to stop this a second time? My dad said I need to be evaluated for mental problems to want to have him in my life when he can walk out on us a second time. He said no matter what I did or how much of a PITA I am you don't walk out with a newborn. He said every marriage goes through its stuff but you don't succumb to weakness.
I sit here and wonder if it's me. If it's not H and it's just me. And he will be happy with someone else and never leave that person or cheat on them. Last time I didn't think it was me as much because he was so cold and angry. He had changed so much so I KNEW he was going through something. This time I am doubting that. Because he's still around still doing stuff as a family I mean this weekend was normal yet he still got a storage unit looked at a house and is buying tickets for another concert.
Today is the first time I've cried since last Thursday. I just feel so beat down. I want to make things better. I want to have my kids have their parents together. I don't want H with another woman and I sure as hell don't want to be with another man.
How can he see me as the person he did. I mean we have no interaction nothing positive nothing negative just neutral as mention. It's just kind of bill related. There's no light breezy conversation. He doesn't initiate and neither do i.
I just feel like I'm doing this all wrong again. Especially after reading through my threads last time. It took me months to figure it out and I feel like I'm in the same exact place. My feelings that I wrote are literally identical to now
