like a drifter I was born to walk alone

[Dawn70]

I wanted to be sure and think about what I said before I responded, because I don't want it to come off negative and I could see where it would, but I feel compelled to say something. First and foremost, yay for you on the volleyball. Sounds like you had a good time and D9 did as well and that is what you need. So, good for both of you. From what you say, it sounds like you are an amazing mom and I'm not at all surprised that other adults commented on how well-behaved your D is. That is awesome, so go Ginger!

Now, here's the part that come across as negative and I really don't mean for it to. I was rooting for your relationship with FF, but it was moving FAST. And, I won't rehash all that because you are well on your way to moving on and brava to you for that. But, if he doesn't want to be friends or to talk to you, then you don't need him anyway, right? I mean, one thing that I took from the early days of my time on this DB site is to act "as if" and in this case, he's the one acting "as if" you didn't exist, so just return that favor and move on. I know that is easier said than done. I think you and I are a lot alike in many ways and I know it would be hard for me, but you deserve so much better than a guy who basically begged for friendship then blew you off. My XH did the very same thing....told me he still wanted to be friends, even told me more than once he missed his "best friend" but when the new woman was hooked, he quickly told me he couldn't talk to me because it made her uncomfortable (of course, "if he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you" rang loudly in my head when he was telling me that, but I digress). My point here is that it really doesn't matter what FF needs. It matters what Ginger needs. Who cares if he wants to be friends, if it doesn't suit you. You are under no obligation to have any contact and despite his pleas for friendship, he's shown that he clearly doesn't know what friendship is. Do you really need that in your life? What does that show D9? Don't get me wrong, I think you are a very genuine, caring person from what I read on here and I think that you still feel some sense of obligation to be there for him and to "help" him. You aren't obligated though. Please forgive me if this all sounds negative as I really don't mean for it to. I just see someone whom I think of as a kind, caring person beating herself up for not being enough and my dear, Ginger, you are so much more than enough. In fact, you are too much for FF and he didn't/doesn't deserve someone like you.