I agree with this except that mostly that relationship is a fantasy. So there are times that it is not even with real people but just all in their head. Real people can not compete with fantasy because we all have warts and wrinkles. An affair partner can come in many forms and the fantasy is always better than the real facts of it.
I'm no psychologist/counselor but I do believe that she is still grieving the A in one way or another. Not necessarily the OM but the A feelings and emotions. While she is still going through that there is zero chance she will ever feel anything for me.
