Leaving it up to God (but still interfering!)

[Coly23]

Hi All, sorry for being MIA for most of June. I have been reading along but haven't really had any enthusiasm for posting. I thought maybe it was time for a little update.

Roist thanks so much for your visit. I didn't remind H in the end and neither did he say anything so i just left it.

Update: Before Father's Day I asked D if she wanted to see H and she declined. She said she hated everything about Father's Day . So I arranged for us to have a little weekend away in a city up North. I booked a little hotel and we planned to go up on Saturday and then do a bit of shopping on Sunday. Still nothing from H asking to see her until the Thursday before when she texted him about something unrelated and on the back of that text he asked if we were available to go to brunch on Fathers Day. I went back to him and let him know that we weren't available.

Following that still no contact from H. During this time D was still doing exams and there was lots of prom preparation. D's prom was last Friday and she had a pre-prom get together planned at a friend's house and parent's were also invited. At first she really wanted to invite H and then she didn't and changed her mind several times over. I really didn't want him to come so I made a deal to say that if he contacts us and asks then we should include him but he didn't. In the end I swallowed my pride and texted him and asked him if he wanted to come and he thanked me and said he did. I told him he could either meet us at home or at D's friend's house and he asked if he could meet at home.

D looked absolutely stunning for her prom ! She looked like she should be walking down the red carpet at a star studded event! H turned up and took a few photos and then followed us to the friend's house. I don't know what he must have thought but all the parents came up to me and hugged me and were so lovely and excited. H just stood in a corner of the garden with no on to talk to as during this last year I have got to know most of them.

Funnily enough he eventually got to talk to my BIL who came over to pick up D and two friends in his Ferrari! My BIL was really nice to H! I then arranged to pick my parents up from my house and follow the Ferrari down to the venue but I didn't tell my parents that H would be there also until we were near the venue because I didn't want to worry them.

When we got there and they saw H they gave him a big hug and said they were so pleased to see him. I am really proud of my parents and I told them so. They could have reacted angrily at him but they didn't.

We had a great time watching all the other kids arriving in their whacky or flashy modes of transport all dressed up to the nines! H eventually left as he had already arranged to go out that night. Then I spent the rest of the weekend feeling very tearful. I miss him so much still. When we were at the prom venue my Mum said it was like we were still together. She said no one would think there was anything wrong if they didn't know us.

On Saturday I had to get rid of some garden furniture and I couldn't get a small round table through the garage door so I spent ages trying to take it apart. I cried again because I felt so alone and frustrated as it was really difficult to get all the nuts and bolts off as they had rusted. I did do it in the end and I was proud but I miss having someone to share these times with.

I don't know. I'm struggling with the NC thing. H seens to be too lazy to initiate contact but when either myself or D do then he ask us to meet up with him. Don't get me wrong, I don't contact him very much at all anymore and when I do see him it sets me back quite a bit because I start to miss him all over again. So do I just continue as I am not seeing him very much at all and then when I do it becomes such a big deal?

Anyway myself and D are hosting my Dad's birthday BBQ this weekend and then we are off on holiday next week. Can't wait!