So she texted me Sat morning that there's a medical issue with son and he's not taking seriously, she'd like me to talk to him and would like to talk to discuss. I text 'd that's fine, just let me know when. Sat morning she text "I'll call you in a little bit if you have some time", I replied "yeah, that's fine"... It's now 36 hrs later and still no call, so not sure what she considers a little bit, lol.. Fact is I know it has to do with hm eating gluten when he can't, so I don't care if she calls or not, just amazes me she would say a little bit and then never call.. Good thing I don't care anymore.
Now, the reason for my post is the following quote... Wow, that's how you do it:
Originally Posted By: skyhigh
It's never over until it's fully over, I learned it from sports and medicine, and I taught it to my kids.
3 years ago, my H was in full EA with one of my dear friend, but I was not aware of it, only that he was very angry at me, snapping all the time, and withdrawing more and more from all of us, we were walking on egg shells, nothing I tried was working. 2 years ago, I became aware of his cheating (by snooping/tracking) with my dear friend, their EA was now a full PA, she was his soulmate, the love of his life, full limerence, I caught them in the parking lot of the hotel where they met, I took pictures. They swore they were done, I believed them, his behavior was still strange the following months so I became suspicious again. 18 months ago, I caught/recorded a conversation where they were talking about living together and moving far away, she was pushing him to file "I am ready to leave my husband and my kids right now, when are you going to leave her?". I exposed them to a few people. I told her I was going to make sure her kids listen to her words... she panicked and stopped everything. He couldn't' stand the withdrawal from her (addictive effects of limerence) so he went straight to another one to soothe himself and trying to recreate the feeling, that OW2 had been looking for him for a few months (golddigger ), I caught him (I was not a fool anymore) and told him that I called previous OW (the soulmate) to let her know she had been replaced and offered to show her proofs (I really enjoyed making that call), he was furious, I cut any return possible to her (she was pissed beyond imagination...). He was left with his stupidity and the damages he had done, it was a wake up call.
I was beyond hurt, distressed and disgusted. I detached and told him I was done (kept my dignity and didn't use any fool or nasty words), I took care of myself and the kids, started a few GAL activities, the full DB, something happened in him, he understood I was done for real, I was not pursuing him in any way to the contrary, no R talks, I set up boundaries. He realized he was losing his family/kids/dignity, he asked for another chance, I gave him my conditions if he wanted to stay at home, I did it mainly for the kids (I was really done) but he couldn't touch me or come close to me, he had to follow some rules (no more OW, no flirty behavior, no messages to any W, no lunch/dinner/coffee with anybody with a vagina, being an open book, wearing his wedding ring all the time, taking STD tests...).
Piecing has been a long frustrating process for both, he went into withdrawal, depression then ambivalence (I am the one who is still ambivalent but he doesn't know, I still don't trust him, I will be be a fool if I was, but I don't obsess about it, I just enjoy to have a peaceful life with no more roller coaster and a changed husband).
He changed drastically in 1 year and I changed too, I am much more independent, I am still detached, the more I detached and was friendly the more he changed in a positive way, also I know I can be happy without him.
During that time, the anger and the frustration started to hit me hard, I almost filed 2 times, I enjoyed a few bottles of wine... had a few laughs when I told him he could be the laughing stock among his friend with his 25 year old OW2, the way they are making fun of one of their friends marrying a woman 20 years younger than him, he didn't take it very well but I really needed that little revenge of mine.
Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that light is your new life, the NEW YOU, it's not only about having him back or not, it's more about rebuilding your self confidence and the trust you have in yourself. I am not the same, that journey changed me, I hate what happened to me but I love the NEW ME, it gave me strength and I did a few things that stunned my H, he thought I was weak... I proved him wrong. He thinks now that I have super powers, he is convinced I can hack whatever I want... lol, the kids had a good laugh on that one...
Do you have super powers?
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized