I think the problem is there has never been any *real* consequences when your wife violates boundaries. There is a brief argument then things go back to normal and your wife starts the cycle again sometime later. Agree with cadence... get it in writing so there is no doubt. But you have to be prepared to walk away if the violations continue otherwise the whole thing is pointless.
Tough spot since she works with OW. I would never be able to go back to WW if OM was a co-worker unless one of them left the company.
