What a ride for you Sky. I hope to have the strength to fully detach and let go. I think this new baby makes it tremendously difficult for me because we planned to have a baby.
You know we spent a lot of time in C I thought we made the necessary changes
Anyway I guess that's besides the point. I think he's lost. The steroid injections working out buying the motorcycle-- he is looking for external happiness.
I guess what I struggle with is how badly can he hate me or feel nothing for me that he would rather walk out.
Well I made it through another night. I don't deserve a DB award but I didn't get myself into a R talk. We got back with pizza and I came straight to my room with the baby. I thought I would give him time with the boys to watch a movie. The boys ended up coming in my room and wanted to watch one in here so H came in here as well. My oldest asked him to sleep in here. He brushed it off and went to the couch. He doesn't say goodnight or goodbye or much acknowledge my presence unless I say something. I think I should probably just stop talking and leave it be.
My concern regarding last time vs this time is this time he's more level headed and thinking clear. Last time he wouldn't come here and be around me much less stay the night. To me I think that means this time he's not so much wayward but just done.
I'm taking the boys to get out of the house today. I didn't invite H. I'm not sure what his plans are. He's in the garage working out now. But we will go about our day and have fun without him.
