You've been served, the next step is to interview lawyers and some do have free consultations. Do not allow the lawyer to talk you into things that you don't necessarily need. Google your state and see what your rights are as well. Knowledge is power.
Now about exposing affairs, etc., you need to have proof and I suggest holding on to that proof if you need to start negotiating something that you really need. Your h isn't going to want the affair exposed and especially his little tart exposed. So, keep the info close and do not share until you need to negotiate something.
Just remember, if your h were in your shoes, he would fight for what is his and not second guess himself on his actions. This is now a financial deal that has gone sour and you need to protect yourself and your children and ask for what is fair and right in order to live. Leave your heart at the door and use your mind for this negotiation.
