Just want to say that, from my vantage point, this is a time to sit back and really watch how he copes with all this. MLCers fear sickness, death and (I suspect) hospitalizations. I suspect he is facing some big fears in that room.
I know you want to help. But, this is a chance to see how this affects his behavior and then evaluate if this is what you want in your life. I do not mean to infer that you are a fair weather friend and walk off because things get tough/he gets sick. I know that is not you. But, is he going to be the sort who always distances in sickness? Has he always done this or is it new? Are you always going to be left on the outside due to his not letting people in and would you be okay with that? Because that is a certain kind of relationship. Clearly, you have a lot of love and kindness to give.
If I were "to do" anything? I might ask d26 to, offline, mention to one of his attending doctor's that he is going through a depression. Not sure if you want to involve her though.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
