WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

Any advise on reaffirming boundaries with STBEW?

A few months ago I set a boundary in regards to her contacting me while I was at work. We used to chit-chat during the day, but I told her she gave all that up when she filed so please do not ever contact me again unless if its an emergency regarding our kids.

Well, lately she is using discussions about our kids to text, email, call, and even call my office to basically harass me. We have a set schedule with the girls already in place that has been working for months now. However, she continues to contact me about the schedule while I am at work.

For example: we worked out the schedule for this week on Monday. She only had the girls 2 nights this week, but needed me to watch them last night (Thursday). Unfortunately, it has been the only night I have kept my previous GAL plans and told her I was busy. She said that was fine.

Well yesterday she decided to text me while I was in a meeting. I could not respond so she continued. Then she started calling my cell. Eventually she called the office. According to her it was all to get an answer for last night on if I could watch the girls. After the meeting was over I was finally able to get back to her. I simply put that we have already discussed this and I will be picking them up Friday evening. She came back by saying that she just "needed an answer".

She has always been a person who has to have everything planned. Like, a control freak. However, now this has been affecting my work performance and my personal life. I can't go on like this much longer. The stress of all this is just too much for me to handle at times. She constantly bugs me...

One night, last week, she was stressed out because of an argument she had with her parents. For some reason she decided to text me to "vent". This was late at night and I simply told her to never text me again unless if there is an emergency regarding the girls. I told her that she no longer has that privilege because she does not want me to be her husband anymore. I told her that I was sorry that her decisions stress her out, but next time when she is stressed like this to contact her OM and not me. She apologized and said she never will again.

However, I feel overwhelmed at times and believe that she still wants to somehow keep control on my life. How do I reaffirm the boundaries when she clearly doesn't respect them? I have already told her repeatedly and will do so once last time. How should I put it to where she understands I firmly mean it without jeopardizing our set schedule?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!