So does someone like that deserve to have me cover for her?
But this is that little thing called karma. And I warned my W months ago that this would happen.
In my opinion, you have basically three answers when asked about your wife's affair. For example: "Is mom/W having an affair?"
Answer 1 - Yes. I think this is not a great answer, because it immediately looks like you are trying to win 'favor' or recruit. Nobody is going to be like "oh, thats great" when they hear about someone sleeping around. Nobody is going to take the side of the cheater. Frankly, I cant expect anyone to remain neutral. I believe that to any neutral acquaintance that would be considered friends of you and your wife, this is just not a good path as it only builds animosity towards your W. You talk about karam, but THIS path is not karma - this is you instilling your own justice. Answering in this way, in my opinion, is only done as a way to use your anger as a sword to hurt W.
Answer 2 - No. This is you 'covering it up' as you describe above. This is flat out lying to protect W from herself. You talk about treating WW gently or softly a few posts back and how that relates to the 37 rules. I think this is an extremely weak response because it makes you complicit, and in fact, almost makes it as if you are condoning the affair by hiding it.
Answer 3 - Youll have to talk to W. I believe this is the only right answer. Frankly, her affair is none of anyone else's business, and the more you try to make it your business to be the judge and jury, the more harm it does to everyone in the long run. This is neither exposing nor hiding it. I believe this is absolutely not doing W's job of covering anything up. I just dont see any upside in answering any questions about the A with anything besides this.
