But in my family we consider it highly disrespectful to even associate with a man like this under these circumstances.
That's not just your family, that's everyone, everywhere. No one considers an affair to be respectful behavior. This isn't something you need to teach your son, he knows it. You've even said that he knows it. It really sounds like you are trying to project your anger and hatred of W and OM into your son. Your son knows the A is wrong, but that does NOT mean he needs to hate his mother. Again I'll say that having lived through it myself, if you keep prodding your son he's more likely to resent you for that than W for the A.
Your posts are full of comments about "loyalty", which I get the impression to you is strictly based on whether someone has an affair or not. I hope you understand that to your wife, loyalty means treating her with love, honor and respect. I went back and pulled a few of your comments out of your posts:
"Romance and sex was at an all-time low last year. I was going through a slight depression last year and didn't even realize it."
"Apparently my wife feels that I stopped trying to get to know her."
" I just was going through the routine of the day. I was functioning, but the relationship was being ignored."
"Complacency was my biggest issue and why the marriage took a wrong turn."
All of the above shows that you were not being loyal to your W. I am certainly not saying that an affair on her part was a proper response to this, I detest affairs just as much as you do. But this is exactly the kind of stuff that leads a woman into an affair, because she is trying to find what she's not getting in the M. You are both being disloyal to each other. DB'ing isn't sitting around and blaming your spouse for everything, it's owning your own failings and doing something about them. It's hard work, that's why we have these forums, to help people get on the right track and stay on it.
