ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next

[SJW]

I am really confused. When he finally got home on Wednesday he wasn't very happy, well he'd been caught for being late for the kids again only red handed this time. He instigated a conversation about nothing has changed and I listened whilst he vented then asked him what he wanted to happen. He preceded to tell me that he asked OW to meet up as he needed some reassurances from her as he had turned everyones lives upside down and I was devastated. I didn't interrupt but when he looked at me for comment I asked him did he not think I was devastated before I lost it, he said he did but he had never heard me like that and it really made him think. I get that he went to see OW for convo on the back of it so bad DB but surely he needed to know how upset I am and it appears that made him realise?? He keeps saying you don't seem that bothered most of the time, this will be when I'm AIF I guess?? Any comments?

Anyway we talked at length, he did most of the talking and I made sure I validated where appropriate and made my opinion clear on the A. It was very evident that all of his decisions are being made around what she is doing, whether she is going to leave her H or not. She says she is but she will not her H about my H and they will keep I quiet until the dust settles then my H moves in I guess. I want him here for the kids but I also said that makes me a doormat. Suggestions?

I had done the finances and went through them with him, he was a bit shocked and not totally happy but I thought he was doing OK out of it, I'm the higher earner but I have more expenses. Yesterday we went to the bank to take my name of one of the joint accounts so he could use it without my knowledge (I have always done all the finances and he has always been happy with that when I asked him to take it on he didn't want to). When we came out of the bank he grabbed my hand turned me towards him kissed me on the lips and said thank you before I even knew what had happened. I pulled my hand away as I started to well up damn it and he pulled it back, I told him unless you want to work on our M you cannot do that it isn't fair.

We then went to S's assembly but he got a call from OW just before we went in and she was not happy with him. He fidgeted all through the assembly visibly anxious and once S received hi award he left. The kids get to go to the parents at the end for a cuddle including my younger one didn't get an award and what did they both say "where did Daddy go". Later that evening he called to say he was staying at work and his whole demeanour had returned to business-like friendship. Woohoo the MLC rollercoaster!

In other news I lost my job today well received redundancy notice which in itself is a joke how can the MD be redundant. So battling for my settlement has to be my focus for now just hope I can get it resolved quickly.