Cadence - I don't know why my anxiety is so bad. My C thinks because like PTSD of last time... I'm not sure. I was never this anxious before. But I can feel myself spinning. I try to post here or reach out to my mom so I don't knew jerk and say something or do something out of emotions.
It could be PTSD. You've also just endured a long "will he/won't he" waiting game, which probably wore you out more than you know. Maybe also your hormones haven't leveled out after the baby?
I'm really happy to hear that you've venting here instead of acting out. Maybe so we're less worried include that disclaimer next time.
If you haven't ever tried meditation, I really recommend it. It might take some time to really "get it", but the practice of trying to meditate is so helpful. It forces you to redirect your thoughts and not judge yourself too harshly for having them.
Quote:
I will get back to that person in 2014. I promise
Seeing that you typed that made my day. Seriously.
You know you can do it, T0. You've birthed 3 babies, you're an amazing mom, you are in grad school and are a smarty pants. Find your mojo, girl.
At the same time, we recognize that you're grieving. It's okay if you want to feel bad for yourself as long as you have plans to emerge like a phoenix. Wallow if you need to. Just try not to get stuck.
I'm further along than you (I know you've been enduring for a while, but I just mean in H moving out). I was a hot mess for awhile. I'm just getting back on track from quite an extensive "eat my feelings" phase. I'm finally starting to emerge from my funk. I noticed walking around the grocery store that guys were checking me out, and I fully believe it's because my feelings about myself are showing. My shoulders are back, my head is high, I'm quick to smile, and those heels I was wearing didn't hurt either. I knew if H saw me walking around he'd have to bite his fist, because I am well on the way to getting myself back to the gal I was when we met.
I've still got it. You do, too, T0.
I wasn't aware that the last S was in 2014! That was the last time H and I were apart, too. It's like it's cyclical in a 2-3 year cycle. Hm.
