WAS or what 9

[Coly23]

Hey Roist, just stopping by to give you some support.

I'm glad you have managed to bounce back from your recent low. I don't know about you but I find it so exhausting trying to bounce back from one low after another. Sometimes I just want to remain a deflated ball, just lying there, limp. No expectations of being bouncy anymore. Fortunately having a teenager stops me from wallowing in my deflatedness!

(((Roist)))

[HaWho]

Having recently gone through one of these same periods of questioning, I find it's all part of moving forward. We reach some peaks, valleys and plateaus; then we forge the next bit of our path. Sometimes we take a turn in a different direction. Sometimes we plug along a little further on the same path. But, there is movement.

I do think the key for you is to eat life with a bigger spoon. Your wife may perk up and start to notice she is missing out/things are changing. Either she will awaken or she will not. If she does not, you will have some amazing memories of these years. And as your kids are young, it certainly can include them (and your w if she wants to join). Is she lethargic? Does she join in activities?

In my own depression I did begin to notice that others were quite engaged in the world while I was not. It was the beginning of the end of my depression.

Glad you are feeling better.

[Gordie]

Roist,

You sound good. I second Coly23's feelings. Way to bounce back.

[roist]

Coly, yes the accumulation effect should not be underestimated. Each knock or low may not be in itself terrible but over time small waves can cause a big cliff to crumble. I do what I can to limit the accumulation effect.

Hawho, I love hearing from you. You have weathered a lot and are an example of what can be endured. You have great wisdom to share with others.

Gordie, thanks for your support

Two months ago I felt I was letting excuses stop me doing more in my life, so I signed up for a half Marathon in nearby mountains, so I would have extra motivation to get out and train. At the time I had a small injury. I rested it and then did eight sessions of physiotherapy and still the injury remained. This prevented any real training preparation until two weeks ago.I still believed I could finish the race. Saturday was race day. Half an hour before the start a rain storm started. The country trails became waterlogged and muddy. I taped my muscles and bandaged them to reinforce the injured calves.

It was hard. The lack of training plus the mud which sucked on each step or slipped under you, made it a trudge. The first climb was two miles long. Going through the race I adopted the mentality" just keep going forward" . I trudged along. It reminded my of my battles for my M. Despite many challenges and less than ideal conditions in both cases the mantra is "don't give up". I didn't know if my energy levels nor my injury would last for the race, but each step brought me closer to the finish line. I won't go on and on about the race but let's just say it was tough. I got to the finish line. But not only that which would have been enough for me to be proud, but I also did it in a time that I had hoped to aim for with training and good weather. I also finished ahead of over 80% of the participants.TThat isn't important as in this kind of run everyone has their own race.

On my M front I still continue to see improvements overall in W. She does seem to be getting better. No improvement in us but I am still in that race! She has been critical of me but to be honest her view point is justified. Not 100% but she isn't wrong in what she's saying. But I do see improvement in this too. Firstly she shared her view which she stopped doing for a while. Secondly she wasn't disrespectful in how she spoke to me. Guess she knows that doesn't work for me!! Thirdly it is something I want to improve myself so no reason not to work on it.

I continue to act as I want to be in a R. Without going overboard I do initiate physical contact between us. Nothing sexy. Grab her arm when walking, a touch here and there. Some people advocate this as a stepping stone to rebuilding connection. Maybe it is. It could push done WAS away.But for me it beats being cold and distant. I won't live like that.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading along.

Best wishes

[bttrfly]

Hi Roist
Stopping by to say hello. Your attitude is so inspiring to me. Thanks for your support on my thread; here to support you as well. Congrats on finishing the race well ahead of the pack despite the injury. Metaphor for life, eh?

xoxoxoxo

[roist]

Hi bttrfly.

Thank you for showing support. I appreciate that.

[roist]

I have finished reading SSM by Michelle. Michelle's approachaand thinking process is very similar to that in DR, which is coherent. In the book she tries to talk to everyone affected be it male, female, more desiring or less desiring. Not everything applies to everyone but it gives insight to the other side of things.

I took some action points away from the book which I probably will outline in my next thread (#10!!)

I also have a similar book written for guys in a SSM. When I finish that I will use both to fine tune my approach going forward.

Best wishes to all readers

[Gordie]

Interested in what you think given that you didn't call your m sex starved, right?

[roist]

Gordie I am happy to share my opinions but I don't fully understand your question. My M is sex starved but not only. I am working on improving the rest with glacial progress. I believe it is possible to turn my situation around.time will tell.

[roist]

was or what 10

New thread. See ye over there