You read a book and it makes you feel sick, and you say "nope" and put the book down.
You said yesterday that you were ready. You were ready to start confronting some things about yourself that cause you to work against your own self-interests.
Are you planning to do that without going through some hard stuff and some significant pain? If so, I'm wondering what your plan is.
Running for all of your life has gotten you... where? Have you found happiness or are you in the emotional version of the movie Groundhog Day, where the same heartache and disappointments keep happening? If so, then that's not a coincidence.
To me, it looks like women are your drug of choice. Love and focusing on how to make a woman love you keep you distracted, and you're convinced that's the way to happiness. But it's not. If it was, it would have worked by now.
I'm probably taking this personally because my H has TONS of work to do on himself but he avoids it. He told me about a year ago that he was "scared' to confront it because it was all so painful. And he ended up sabotaging his life again and running away. He wants to run and avoid, and I was a sacrifice so that he could keep doing that.
So, for you, when does it stop? When do you do more than lip service? And do you honestly think that your life will change in the ways that you want it to change without confronting some painful things that have led you astray?
