Thank you everyone for your words. It really makes me feel better just getting to read advice from each and every one of you.
I'm sitting in my car pumping in the parking lot of the office #reallif
I cycle through good and bad days.
I want to rip his head off for leaving us. I sit here and think. You chose to come back you cried begged pleaded took all my family out to dinner individually to apologize. You cried cried and cried went to counseling I'll never do this again blah blah ilve learned the grass isn't greener. I never want to lose you and the kids. All for what. To bring another innocent life into this to leave AGAIN
NO MATTER WHAT - I know. I don't deserve to be left RIGHT NOW. The baby screamed bloody murder. I told H this is a lot to do alone every night. He didn't say anything. He knows it but he doesn't CARE to be here to help like a man.
Like my dad said - he and H spent So much time talking when he came back. He told H not to come back he said he knew he would do it again. Everyone could be okay if he stuck around for 6 months or so til the baby was older I finished school and he could maybe hold his head saying he made an effort but it just wasn't there.
I have my faults. I know I do. But at the end of the day and 13 years together and giving birth to Our 3 kids I don't deserve to be left to do this alone. Oh great he's giving me money - he thinks that makes it okay.
I have to remind myself of this because it's not what a man husband or father does. People are unhappy everyday. People go through stuff regularly. It doesn't mean you walk out.
The most frustrating part is he's doing so much damage and hurting everyone without a care in the world and I truly believe one day he will regret it and by that point it will be too late.
