Great job at telling him that you were done, and when it's the truth, they can feel it, it's not something you can fake. You became the distancer. When my husband understood I was really done (there was something about my attitude), he started to change because he wanted to not because I was asking. Changes have to come from them, it's a very long and slow process. Results show in months not in weeks, so patience.
Being done doesn't mean you don't love him anymore but simply you don't want to put up with that situation as it is unless there is a fundamental change.
It takes time for limerence to go away fully (you will know when it's fully over something will change in his attitude, he will be more open), meanwhile become his best friend, his companion, men crave companionship, I noticed that my husband' divorced friends (they were the cheaters and wanted their freedom), from being "happy" to be single and dating are now craving a caring loving companionship... they are complaining how lonely they are... really! My H is now giving them relationship advice as" find a nice caring woman of your own age and marry her". I laughed so much when he told me that..
Companionship is not being clingy but being available when they need to talk, watching TV, and giving them positive feedback. I decided to said yes to every activities he proposed (even if some were not really my taste and where taking time away from my GAL activities),and stayed very positive, the change was quite amazing, he became attentive and caring to me, he lowered the wall he had in him.
It's normal not trusting him with your heart, it's way too early to trust again, so stop obsessing about that, the same about forgiveness. Live in the present!
(((Hugs)))
Me 52+ WH 57+ Married 20 + Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
