I know these are little things, but I’m having a hard time explaining how/why I began to feel that my wife was more emotionally connected to my S than to me. There were several times that I sat her down and explained to her that I felt she was putting love for son ahead of me and that it was very frustrating to me…
I did this. I always put D first. I felt like I was supposed to. Everything I did was D first, W second, and me last, if at all. W says she did the same (though I'm not convinced of that).
D's not my emotional partner by any stretch, but I thought I was honoring our marriage by putting D first. I didn't understand the negative consequences of that until it was too late. I really didn't understand the negative consequences of "not caring about me" until it was too late, either.
The kicker is how to not put D first in a relationship with someone who isn't her mother. The dynamics there are a bit different. Single dad first, everything else second place. I'm guessing from what you're saying here that THAT isn't going to work, either.
Where's the balance? Since you've lived it, and it was an issue for you, what's the "right thing" look like?
