Will I find that balance on my own? What is the balance?
I haven't 100% confirmed OW. But I mean this is unfolding the same as before. I don't think it's a PA but I DO think he is talking to someone and having his needs met elsewhere in that sense.
I guess I feel like me keeping quiet when I know he is lying and doing things behind my back is allowing him to continue to walk all over me... I remember he used to lie to me last BD and one day I just said h we both know that isn't the truth. Don't insult my intelligence and walked away.
I want to do whatever is going to have the best results. Do I want to save this M. Right now I think so but I don't know what that looks like. I don't know that it will last but I would like that opportunity.
I feel like this is a ticking time table. If there is a PA I don't think I can continue on and if he buys a house I don't think I can do that either.
So I say this please do not bow out. Hold my hand a little longer. I'll get better in time but I am trying to hang on. I'm struggling and I know you guys are getting frustrated with me. I just feel like my whole life is falling apart.
I don't want to lose my family I don't want to see my kids 50% of the time. I don't want to miss holidays with them.
