Doodler, I think he's referring to his GF/rebound situation.
East, all that I said about her is in terms of her as a relationship partner, and I said it because I do want you to be happy. I want whatever your next relationship is - no matter who it is with - to be long lasting and full of love. I don't want more heartbreak for you. And I see a 99.9% of heartbreak and guilt imminent if you continue with her. You do not need that tacked onto what you are already trying to get through regarding your M.
So there is no need to defend her. My comments of her character are in context of how she would be as a relationship partner for you. And her actions thus far show her to not value herself very highly. She also shows signs that she would look to you for her sense of self-worth and as her source of happiness in life.
That doesn't make her a bad person. However, as a long term match for you - who also shows signs of having similar issues as her - it won't work. Right now you see her as a source, but once you are healthier and your ego is built back up (using another person), you will break her heart and you will feel even more awful than you do now.
She is a great short term/rebound, since you feel longing and intensity. However, as everyone who has had a spouse who has longing and intensity for an affair partner knows, those things do not last.
She is not the solution, East. Neither is W. You are. You are your own source of worth, independent of what women think of you. And the only way for you to really and truly believe that is to spend some time on your own with no woman to focus on. This seems to be very scary for you, and that is more evidence that you definitely need to do it. Take a sabbatical from relationships so you can be in a healthier place and make healthier decisions for yourself.
