The high road: rocky with a great view

[ciluzen]

Thanks for the support and suggestions, everyone.
I texted him soon after I posted, in between frustrating convos with D26 (she comes by her controlling nature naturally, I guess),and then had to go to a 3 hour class. He called about a half hour before the class was over, so I called him back while walking out the door when it ended. D26 says she prompted him to call before she left because "mom's really worried". He told me his story about how it hit him at night and he thought it was gas...took everything that works on gas and it just got worse. 2 hrs later while on the phone with his brother, his brother urged him to go to the hospital. Of course, he didn't. He finally called D at 4am but she didn't pick up til 5. He wanted her to drive him to see our family doctor an hour away (at 5?), but she took him to a close-by hospital. According to D (when I spoke to her again later), he still didn't believe he was going to have surgery even after they prepped him and told him that they believed his appendix had perforated! They were right, of course.

Anyway, he was in good spirits, out of pain, but kept saying he thought he would be at work by Thursday. Um, no. Fantasy land or wishful thinking. I told him I would call today to check on him...I'm sure the numbness from surgery will have worn off by now and he might feel a little less like conquering the world. He was upset by the fact that he didn't get some of the yardwork done and was freaking out a bit because Assistant A was having her bachelorette party at the river this weekend (he will be recovering there and he also likes to "host" by being available to help...and make pancakes). I emphasized that I was willing to help out however needed and he just said he appreciated that (I'm sure its a polite way of introducing "no").

In talking to both D's, they seem to be working out who will stay with him to have care covered. I've been insistant that they let me help, but after sleeping on it I realize that my reasons are controlling. I still have so much work to do on this aspect of myself. I'm feeling left out, pushed aside, helpless, and jealous. As much as I care for, worry about, and want to help him, those previously mentioned feelings are mine and have nothing to do with his feelings, which should be in the forefront. I've made my concern known, now I need to back off (aside from my follow up call to check on him this morning) and respect what ever wishes he has. Unfortunately, its hard to tell if what I get from D26 are from him or just her. Well, I made my offers and will again this morning...what ever will be will be. Bluhh.