Teppo it actually did lead W to come back and we had another three years -- I'm good with the outcome. Had she left originally in 2011 it would have been much worse for me.

Your situation will not improve while W is in an EA. She wants you to be the bad guy and convince herself that you pushed her to this. She wants to justify her choices and will look for evidence to support her and ignore or minimize anything that contradicts what she wants.

Affairs are waiting games, your goal is to stabilize things and not make them worse.

Your time with your son is not fleeting--you're entitled to 50% custody

Another tip is not to talk to her family and friends about the situation--she will really resent you for that and she needs her support network.

Be strong and take care of yourself!

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015