jujuB, thank you for your response. I can sense the empathy coming from you. Thanks again.
Indeed, my daughter is my priority. If she was not there, I would have dumped my wife ages ago as we had numerous issues, the main one being that she never had my back. For instance, I would come home from the office and confide in her the rough and tumble of office politics that I had to contend with, and she'd answer with, "you must have done something wrong. Be more nice!" A complete lack of understanding. And it was consistent.
When my daughter came along, that changed everything and I was committed to having a family. But my wife left me not once, but twice. That just set up a bad feeling that it was her and her family against me. And once in the U.S. (I liked America. Americans are nice people), she told me everyday that she would leave me again. I was getting pains in my stomach, it was that bad. An old proverb says, "better to live on the roof of a house with crumbs, than inside the house with a quarrelsome woman."
My parents were Greek immigrants to Australia. And even with that, when I consulted my own family on the situation, they all said that a family must have boundaries, and having parents live in the home is a no-no, ESPECIALLY in the early years of a marriage.
My daughter's only three, so she won't understand. Ever since I've left I have learned film making techniques, skilled up with Final Cut Pro, GarageBand, etc., on the Mac to make engaging videos (book readings, what is Daddy doing, etc.) then I upload them to youtube.
Sadly, America will eventually become third world whilst the lion's share of immigrants come from socialist countries across Latin America. The benefits of living in the U.S. were less than that of Australia. Healthcare was more expensive. Annual leave is only two weeks per year vis-a-vis four weeks in Australia. Australia has subsidised childcare, healthcare etc. We already had a few run-ins with the healthcare system and after facing the bills we paid, we had to think twice next time before going to the hospital because we didn't know how much would be covered by my wife's employer insurance plan.
My inlaws never went to live in the homes of my wife's other siblings when they had children. And why didn't the parents want to live at the brother's house down the street? Could it be that his wife was resentful of the fact that she was forced to move from San Antonio all the way to Seattle at a moment's notice to be with his parents and sister, whilst she was forced to live further away from HER PARENTS that live in Puerto Rico?
I guess I'm here also seeking the American experience. Is it really possible to live in Seattle (an expensive area) and support a child and your parents on a single income. Indeed my wife was already talking about the need to get up and move to a cheaper American city. And again seeking the advice of her family rather than discussing it with me and making our own decisions.
The other point here is that my wife had no respect for me. She did not value my opinion, leadership, or direction. Not only was I shafted from the family home, but I saw it as a 'reset button' for the relationship because if we ever did get back together, it would only happen once she realised my rightful place and she had some moment of epiphany. Otherwise, if this does not occur, then we have just another broken family. That saddens me.
