I do want to get to a place of calm. I asked my dad today how to do that. When will I be there. Because right now I am so angry hurt and upset I could scream. I feel so robbed of the end of my pregnancy, the time with my boys this baby etc.
I would have supported him through whatever he needed but he couldn't commit. It feels like a slap in the face to see him texting other females. I want to let go of these feelings. I don't want to feel this way.
I had the boys call tonight. I didn't get on the phone. He sent me a few texts asking what we were doing, how was the baby, thanks for having the boys call. Then telling me goodnight. I didn't respond to anything except telling him the baby was good
I feel like he's having some guilty feelings for lying or that he's just lonely and maybe is sitting there alone. I made sure to post a picture on fb of the boys and I having family game night.
Who knows if that's why he's reaching out and I want to be at a point where I say more importantly who cares. I would hope it was him softening but the fact that he lied about being at work when he was really at his boss house makes me know that's not true.
I have a girlfriend coming out tomorrow to spend some time with the boys and I. We are going to just hang at the beach. Then her and I are having drinks and dinner. H said he was spending the night tomorrow night so I'll let him know tomorrow I'll be going out for a bit.
