EastTN it's as if you took the words right out of my mouth. but it's draining. it's exhausting. Yet the alternative means feeling lonely, feeling you missed an opportunity... am I close?
It was draining and exhausting. I won't do it again. But I got it, and I'm keeping it locked away in my head and heart forever. I'll take it.
Quote:
As to options: Isn't E where you aren't sure if M is over even if others say GF might be a better fit?
I gave that one a LOT of thought. "Better fit" doesn't work for me. We don't (or shouldn't!) choose to leave a relationship for another based on the idea of trading up. That's how at least half of us ended up on this site to start with! Not being sure I was done was based on a few different premises: 1. Still love W. 2. (Laboring under delusion that?) W still loved me. 3. W appeared to want to try to fix things. 4. I thought I could do the work. 5. If 1-4 were valid, that was the correct path.
GF actually told me that if I could fix M, then that was the right thing to do, regardless of any feelings either of us had.
1 is something I've chosen to try to stop. 2 appears to have been nothing more than a tactic on W's part. 3 appears to have been false. 4 is something I have come to the conclusion will kill me--possibly literally. 5 is moot at this point.
Quote:
But who am I to give advice... I seem to have similar inner turmoil without a GF involved. And part of me wants someone else but it wouldn't be fair to that other person (and to myself).
You keep saying the two of us are pretty similar. There are a couple of people here that I REALLY want to see turn things around, and you're one of them. Hang in there. If you want it, and think it can be fixed from your side, then don't give up, and don't complicate it.
