I think it is excellent that we ask each other about the evidence for an opinion - not at all offended even if you had doubted me.
right now, I suspect that your h is on some sort of high - it is all wonderful. Gradually, as Garrison Keillor observed, this wears off.
My xh was an incredible $hit in the divorce process and I have heard other horror stories. Not sure what is going on there - punishment of us, outward projection of guilt and confusion, determination to get as much as possible - and it is OK for us to be angry about this treatment.
We have been betrayed, and badly treated. I wouldn't behave toward a casual friend the way that my xh husband treated me
It is and it isn't personal. They want to hurt us, but that is down to their issues, not ours.
You will detach in time, but asking us not to MIND, Good grief, that is unrealistic.
I cannot imagine being his wife, but I imagine she has her own issues. He is full of regret, and even remorse at times (this one comes and goes!!)
I see him as someone I loved deeply, miss the person he was, but have no control over anything but how I behave towards others, and how I treat myself.
They are almost invariably very public about OW - flaunting it, almost as a cover for their own insecurity.
They behave as if we never existed, and when you think about it, that is very very odd. They are operating so far from the shores of what most people see as normal behaviour that this alone should be a clue that all is far from well.
At some point, and it will not be soon, your h will miss you and all he has thrown away, but for most of these MLCers the road back is too painful.
In my experience you head gets there first, and your heart somewhat later.
These days I am grateful for what I had, sad for what I lost, and concerned that so few people realise how destructive this behaviour is.
