Aside from her demands to have her parents move into our home, she also said that from now on they would join us on any holidays along with her brother’s family. Surely this is not part of the marriage contract. I wanted the sovereignty of our family. Anyway, the pressure was building until the day came when she threatened to see an Attorney to see what her legal options would be to have me removed from the family home. She crossed the line with that so I packed my bags and left. Would anyone here tolerate having their inlaws live in their home?
That definitely sounds like a touchy situation. Was the living situation with her parents moving in intended to be temporary or permanent? Regarding the vacations I probably would have tried to negotiate something with her, like maybe you have some vacations with her family and some without.
Once she got the job in Seattle, and then her brother moved down the street and the parents lived with him. It was only for a few months though. And she was adamant that they live with her. They already had a home in Peru. Maybe it was because I'm a non-hispanic and my money is better - who knows? But the wife said it would be permanent and they would be living with us forever. Screw that, I said.
It would also be because her brother's wife didn't want his parents living in her home for too long.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Originally Posted By: athas
Will my wife ever return? Currently there is no plans by her to divorce me ever.
But you left her, right? Are you asking if she’ll ever return to Australia? Very hard to say, but if family is as important to her as you say it is, and her parents move in with her and her brother is down the street, my guess would be it’s unlikely she’ll return to Australia.
Her family was important to her such that she said that they ranked higher. I was "at fourth" in her list of priorities. She was threatened saying that if I didn't leave, that she would. In the end she said she would take legal action to have me removed. I had enough. My self-respect prompted me to leave. Hardest decision.
If I had submitted to her yoke and stayed, my balls would have been truly cut off, and any respect from her will probably be gone as I was reduced to a servant for her family. I did not want my daughter to see this as an example of a proper relationship between man and woman. I was to be head of our home and decision maker, and not servant to third worlders. My daughter will eventually grow up and learn that her mother is a dictator and there'll be another conflict between them as she discovers that her father was shafted from the home and her own family destroyed.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Originally Posted By: athas
Will it be expensive for my wife to be a single mom and take care of her non-english speak parents in her home (with health insurance payments, and other expenses?) and will this be a factor that will lead to her abandoning them and returning to me?
It certainly sounds expensive, but I can’t imagine that after giving her parents a home that she would ditch them and return to Australia for you, especially considering that she’s left you twice before.
It is very unusual! I have thought about it a lot and realised it's because her mother abandoned her family when she was a young child. Just up and left them to pursue academic studies in another city and a career - before eventually returning. I saw that the old lady had unwittingly taught her the value of a career over her own family. The old man was reduced to nothing more than a Pullman Porter (he was truly henpecked). My wife saw this as a young girl and eventually did the same thing to me and my daughter by abandoning our family for the sake of a career and others.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Originally Posted By: athas
What strategies can I take moving forward?
Yours is a fairly unusual situation compared to most people here. There have been a few long-distance breakups that benefitted from DB’ing though. If you haven’t already done so, get DB and read it. Post here often and read other threads. Try to find situations similar to yours and read the feedback that those people got. Good luck!
