I am sure you must be a little disappointed with how that went, not because you expected more, but because you hoped his fog was lifting or at least dispersing partially. I don't have job's experience but I will point out one of the key mantras drilled into us on this forum: believe none of what he says.
There have been so many little improvements that I do believe deep down he has changed. It is also possible that he isn't really aware of what his current thinking is. When depressed the brain is fuzzy and clear thinking is next to impossible.
I have never had a real bomb drop or ILYB conversation but this one appears half hearted. He is unhappy but not enough to leave you. Depending on how you chose to look at it, that can be a good or a terrible thing.
It is good because he is relatively stable and not planning on leaving.So you have time. It is terrible because the current situation is likely to last for a good while yet.
I am sure you can handle this situation for as long as you decide to. Despite being capable of doing so, you may choose not to. You don't have to decide that now though.
I really like the way you were able to tell him some home truths.I also liked that you let him know that you were not seeking a R talk or R anything else. It will do him no harm to know you are not waiting for him. Although not strictly in accordance with job's great advice, I may have told him that you finding someone may not be the reason he could have to move out.
I think he is trying to feel better by giving you permission to go out at weekends and he'll move out if you find someone. I suspect it is only words but why not get away for a weekend anyway. Why not an evening during the week too. Be a rebel going without permission!!!Haha.
Your H did not come across to me as someone hiding an affair.He seemed more like a ten year old trying to keep face when questioned by a parent. He reminded me of my son who could not think of a good answer so stays vague.
All and all did it feel good to let out some of your thoughts?
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
