The parallels to my first divorce are ridiculous. W is doing EVERYTHING 1st W did, in the same way, saying the same things in the same way, screwing with my head in the same way, trying to destroy things that I'm building in the same way. I feel like some kind of lab animal. I'm being tormented, and I don't even have the ability to understand why it's happening.
This is happening because you are allowing it. You put yourself in a position where they easily cross your boundaries. She did not destroy what you building with GF. You put yourself right in that position. I get why you did it, but this is the outcome.
So, don't sit in victim mode for too long.
I am sure you know this already.... but you can't go completely NC with a child. Please be responsive and communicative regarding your child. Otherwise, no contact is best.
I also apologize in advance for poor timing and maybe projecting some of my sitch on you, but I had an R recently end because of age difference. He is 27 and I just turned 37. In the end, he could not sacrifice children of his own. I have maybe one more year left to childbear and he is not ready in a year, It was a 3 month R and we had no real issues other than this. While he was great with my D9, in the end he really didn't want to be a stepdad. He wants to build form ground up.
Does she wants kids? Are you ready to have more kids years from now?
You know when I knew I loved him? When I realized I wanted all of this for him too. I know I cannot give it. And if he came back tomorrow saying he made a mistake, I wouldn't take him back. Not because I don't want to be with him, but because I know what he truly wants in his heart. You say you love GF and letting her go is an act of love, as painful as it is.
