Very happy I stumbled across your thread. I don't have any advice but just a question or two that may be able to help me in my journey.
From a emotional standpoint, we look to be cut from the same cloth. I'm a huge bottler which affected my ability to love. Well love in the traditional sense, of course I love, but I show love by acts of service. Its very hard for me to express emotions and say how I feel. Been like that since a child. I've also had substance abuse issues. I wont get in to to much details bc of the nature of my job. About halfway through my R with my W in 2012-13, I had an accident. For about 9 months I continued with that. It never got extremely bad but I still did it every day and it felt great to escape. Never done it again since the day I got caught by W (GF at time). Have no desire to do it.
I do have a desire to be more transparent with my life and feelings. Anything you did that turned a switch on? Anything small things that led you to better express yourself?
M 1.5 years, her affair was before 1 year T 7 Years
