I remained calm and when in the house told him that we would work through finances but I didn't feel it was appropriate until the house was sold to be spending money on weekends away with OW. He then started to get really agitated and started washing pots and moving things around and saying that he couldn't do anything without me knowing about it
I've got to tell you, MLCers just absolutely blow my mind. Who in their right mind asks their newly BD'd W for permission to go on a trip with their girlfriend???? It's really quite incredible.
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I decided it was time to retire gracefully to let him calm down.
Good! Sometimes that is appropriate and the best course of action. There is nothing wrong with walking away if you feel a fight brewing.
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I went downstairs when I was ready and I knew I looked good and for the first time since he made his announcement last Sunday I actually felt good about ME! The look on his face was a picture and he told me how nice I looked.
Good, it helps to hang out with friends, helps to keep you centered. Just try not to make it an H-bashing session! Plus if you show him that you are going to live your life and not sit around moping and waiting for him to change his mind, well that's going to start worrying him. He wants OW, but he wants you on the hook as Plan B as well. He wants you as a safety net. You deserve to be Plan A, not B.
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We sat down and talked last night initiated by him and rightly or wrongly I told him what a huge mistake I thought he was making. We talked through the events of last week and how ridiculous this all is and he couldn't disagree but continued with the she makes me happy!
Just be careful about R talks. You should avoid them. Remember Sandi's 37 rules, those rules should drive ALL your convos.
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What I struggle with is I do know in time I'll be OK I would still like to try and make a go of our M. I have no idea if it will work there have been issues for some time but doesn't every M have issues.
All M's and all R's have issues. Right now he's in a dreamland where he thinks he and OW will go skipping off into the sunset without a care in the world. Eventually he'll realize that he and OW have their own issues. What happens then is hard to predict, but it's doubtful their R will last. But until then, keep getting out and GAL'ing and making yourself the spouse only a fool would leave!
