AHhhh, fathers day. Happy fathers day to all you awesome dads here.
A bittersweet day for me. I am lucky to have my dad alive and well' in my life. I did not see him today, as it is also his wifes birthday and I had a paper to write and couldn't afford four hours of driving. I missed the both of them today, but we will be spending a few days 4th of july week with them and D9 and I are going to cook a special meal for them. D9 went with her dad last night. They went to his FIL's house. He went golfing with his FIL. I always have mixed feelings on this holiday. We never celebrated together. he was gone before we reaches our firsts as parents. It makes me sad we never got to celebrate eachother. I got him a gift certificate to take D9 mini golfing, so they can do something special together. I also texted him this morning and said "Happy father's day, I hope you enjoy this day with our beautiful daughter. I know deep in my heart he loves her. He may not be so hot at showing love, but he does love our daughter. I'll never forget when the Newtown shootings happened and he was sick and delirious with fever and he said to me "the only thing I have ever done right in my life was having D9". For my ex to say something like that is a big deal.
Friday night D9 and I had a dinner and bowling date. We had so much fun. In the lane next to us the hottest dad comes over with his 2 kids and I was like "woah!" then over comes his gorgeous, what I assume is his GF because the kids call her by her first name. D9 recognized the girl from camp. I watched them interact, and I won't lie, a twinge of jealousy came over me. I had that with FF and now it's gone. But my D9 and I are quite a pair. We really don't need anyone else. Went to my nephews pool party yesterday, spent the night alone and all day alone, but I finished my paper before midnight (yay!), got a pedicure and did some shopping.
I logged back into Instagram. FF sister post a picture of FF and her son fishing. I "liked" the picture. In the beginning I was hurt he just stopped paying any attention to anything I posted. So I said to myself "well I'll do the same back" But no. I decided to act in the way I see fit, never to punish someone and never to withhold because I won't get it in return. It's the true meaning of no expectations. I only stop myself when my purpose is to get a reaction or to temp check. I liked that picture because I really liked that picture. And you can just see what a great dad he is going to be. I was on groupon and saw an event he would really like. I was going to send it to him. For the pure reason I know it was something he wanted to do. Just like exH never texted me on mothers day, I wasn't going to do the same. I felt it right to wish him a special day with our daughter.
CHD, Chilvary, honesty, and dignity. I don't think one could go wrong if we live by that.
