Limerence and My Situation

[Coconut]

Park,

I just went through all 8 pages, so I feel inclined to respond. I think you've been somewhat unfairly beat up regarding detaching and GAL. I am impressed with what you've posted regarding not initiating contact with your WW.

But, it really doesn't sit well with me how accommodating you are for your WW. As I read it, her time with the kids is hers, but your time with the kids is partly hers too. She gets to play house with OM at their house, and with you at yours. On top of that, she gets to pull you aside and chat whenever she wants, AND she gets to give you dating restrictions??

I wish Sandi2 would of expanded on what triggered her to want to do the right thing.. She mentioned getting caught, then going deeper underground. But if memory serves me, she got miserable hiding it, wanted to meet OM in person and threatened her H she was going to move out, and her H said do what you want, but don't think you'll ever come back.

She then had to make a choice, go and be with her affair partner and live happily ever after (what it seems like in the WW mind), or stay in M with H she resented for years.. But I think the key was, she had to make a choice, she knew she was gonna lose him and the M if she went.

Your W has never been faced with that choice, she got to keep her life (house minus H), gained the OM in that life, and practically got a key to your place. Her H is there whenever she wants, she's told her H not to date, and she truly has a good thing going. I don't think I'd complain if I was in her shoes.

I would never advocate keeping kids away, but I really don't think it's healthy for them to have family time with mommy and OM, and then having family time with mommy and daddy... That may have lasting affects on their understanding of what a healthy relationship is.