I have been separated from my wife and three-year-old daughter for the last six months. They live in Seattle and I'm back in Australia.
I left my wife six months ago when we were living in America, and after she had been going on and on about wanting both her parents to live in our home. They recently got permanent residency to live in America, and moreover, her brother just moved from the other side of the U.S. to live down the street from us.
Aside from her demands to have her parents move into our home, she also said that from now on they would join us on any holidays along with her brother’s family. Surely this is not part of the marriage contract. I wanted the sovereignty of our family. Anyway, the pressure was building until the day came when she threatened to see an Attorney to see what her legal options would be to have me removed from the family home. She crossed the line with that so I packed my bags and left. Would anyone here tolerate having their inlaws live in their home?
Some background - she had already left me twice before. But since we had a child, and others insisted on ‘happy wife, happy life’, I decided (against the judgement of my relatives) to pursue the ‘better’ path and try to make her happy. Every time I gave in to her, the rules changed, the bar of approval was raised. The result being that we lost our double-income nice lifestyle in Australia. I shutdown my career in Australia and followed her to America where she got a job. It was then that the rules changed and the only arguments we had was around her family and her parents and letting them control our life – I was opposed to them and wanted the right to control the destiny of my own family. She would have none of it and issued ultimatum after ultimatum i.e., ‘change or leave’. She had hoped that I would cave like I always did and give in. But I could see the writing on the wall. I drew the line in the sand, and said no further. America is an expensive place to live, and I wanted to ensure the success of our family and have enough for retirement. I refuse to fund the retirement of these parents from the third world, and help the rest of their relatives come to America.
Sorry for the long post.
My questions are: How do I deal with my daughter being so far away? We do have regular Skype calls. Will my wife ever return? Currently there is no plans by her to divorce me ever. Will it be expensive for my wife to be a single mom and take care of her non-english speak parents in her home (with health insurance payments, and other expenses?) and will this be a factor that will lead to her abandoning them and returning to me? What strategies can I take moving forward?
